Redefining My Life: How Fitness Helped Me Find Strength After Years of Struggle

Posted on February 16, 2025 by Iron Resilience

Introduction

I grew up in an extremely rural environment as a child and teenager. It was extremely rough at times I’ll admit. I didn’t fit in anywhere much when there were people my age around, and that got rarer and rarer the older I got. Until basically by age 18 it was just me, myself and I. I felt incredibly rejected. This feeling of rejection and isolation would extend until my mid to late 20s. And likewise, whatever it was about me I had an extremely difficult time making friends and meeting women.

Although I saw the most changes in my body in my late 20s and later again now in my mid 30s I will say absolutely on some level my mind wasn’t as healthy as my body.

Naturally, I am shy and introverted. Quite quiet as well. However, my job forces me to interact with numerous people on a daily basis. And it has given me over the years an ability of sorts to put on a performance. Such that I can wear a mask as I need to in social environments and one which is the one an individual or group of individuals want or need to see. This may sound manipulative but it’s a rather tried and true tactic of anyone who has ever been in any sort of public role as an introvert or shy person.

Without getting physically stronger and bigger than most people I doubt I’d have the confidence I have now and I doubt I’d have the respect on some level. When I was a really skinny guy working security jobs it was a daily occurrence to get fucked with. Now, it’s a rather extremely rare occurrence. You’ll always get one or two types of people who are hot headed to the extreme and just cannot calm down regardless. Other than that it’s fairly easy sailing if you’re both big and intimidating looking.

Early Struggles

Most of my life I was either obese or skinnyfat. I was skinnyfat for my early 20s for the most part due to living in extreme poverty for a lot of it. I just couldn’t get enough calories in to even be a normal size for a guy my height. There was no money to support it. And when I was obese or overweight I dealt with quite a lot of bullying.

On top of that a naturally shy or introverted person gets fucked with. People take quietness as a sort of invitation to mess with you. And you aren’t really scoring numerous dates and you won’t be very popular.

Overall my teen years to early 20s really lowered my self esteem quite a bit. And the loneliness and isolation from people, along with being chronically online and other factors going on (drug use in my 20s and abusive toxic relationships or friendships when I did manage to land one) I was totally at rock bottom.

Although I bounced back by age 28, a year or so later I’d be back worse off than I ever was before. I only gained any sort of female interest at that time perhaps due to being fit. But it was short-lived.

The Turning Point

I decided that I had to do something about my life. While in my late 20s I decided to get in the best shape physically, and this helped a lot massively, my mindset was still stuck back in the past, my self esteem was beyond dismal, and overall I was healthy physically but not mentally.

I had gotten myself into an extremely bad relationship with a woman who was honestly a malignant narcissist. She took away everything I had ever worked for in life. And ripped the soul out of me. Slowly but surely I was diagnosed with Bipolar and C-PTSD.

I wanted my sanity back, I wanted my body back and even better than before, I wanted out of the dead end jobs I was working on, I wanted out of living with my parents again, and most of all I wanted my sobriety back.

It wasn’t anything miraculous or something spectacular. No, I simply decided enough was enough and I moved. I went back to college even though I was way older than my classmates. I quit all drugs cold turkey.

And for the last two years it’s been nothing but gym sessions, making money, thinking positive and aiming high. Also landed myself a beautiful, loving and supportive girlfriend while I was at it.

Resilience Through Fitness

Fitness taught me discipline more than even the military did. I didn’t have anyone ordering me to eat well or workout. I didn’t have any motivation besides not being unhealthy anymore. The onus was all on me to succeed. And failure wasn’t an option.

Building muscle and losing fat taught me patience. I had to learn about anatomy, nutrition, macros, meal planning, and so forth. I had to track my calories meticulously. And my portions. Some nights I spent 4 hours at the gym to get up for 8am the next morning for class.

Most of all I just went to the gym regardless of if I wanted too or not. I needed too. Not wanted too.

You can’t be 50 percent healthy. If your body is healthy and your mind isn’t you aren’t fit. If your body is unhealthy and your mind is healthy then you aren’t fit either.

Self transformation is always internal but produces external results with enough patience. Patience is the virtue. Resilience is what keeps you patient in even the bleakest of time.

Without either patience nor resilience then natural bodybuilding isn’t for you.

Conclusion

I do not have any natural god given talents or elite genetics. When I want something I simply go for it and work hard for it. Day in and day out. I didn’t want to be the fat kid who got bullied anymore. I didn’t want to be the skinny guy who got messed with and was scared of everybody.

The only solution was to pick up the barbell and put down the fork.

All I can say is, if you are reading this and going through what I did then, don’t complain, workout, stay focused, be patient, have discipline and grind. You’ll get there.

Thanks for reading.

Discipline, Not Genetics

Posted on February 14, 2025 by Iron Resilience

Alright, here’s a reality that I am hyper aware of. Genetics. Do I have great or elite genetics? I most definitely do not. However, I think most people that aren’t well versed in diet, nutrition and proper exercise routines would guess that I do or did.

In fact, with most things in life including fitness I was a late bloomer. I started from the opposite end of being severely obese and out of shape. But in a year, I transformed my body, my mind, and my life. Not because of luck, and certainly not because of genetics, but because I simply knew what I wanted and I always work relentlessly in life to get what I want. I wanted more than anything else to lose that weight and be in shape. And my sanity and independence back.

Usually guys who work out will either develop severe vanity, or severe body dysmorphia. Usually the most narcissistic are the most insecure amongst them. However, this isn’t always the case as there is always someone who is at an elite level and well aware of it, but has the maturity of a six year old. Usually though the more elite level someone is then the more you can expect them to be humble and hypercritical — never on others but on themselves. Sometimes comments come from someone’s place of insecurity. You look better than them how is it possible? Therefore, they have to accuse you of taking steroids or other drugs. Either that or insult some perceived lagging muscle group. Or call you fatter than you are. Or smaller.

I gotta say I’m not a saint and I’ve battled my own doubts and demons too, but I never got into fitness to impress anyone else. I did it for the man in the mirror. It was all for me. No one else. And now I use that energy simply as a means to inspire others.

I have my own fitness goals beyond where I’m at now still despite losing 70 lbs (approx 31.8kg) and likewise strength goals. But I don’t workout for women or to impress other men. I hope it just shows that even if you’re starting from a rock bottom position (obesity) you can do a lot for your body and life in a year if you hyperfocus on it and keep at it consistently and with a lot of discipline. And take accountability and responsibility for your own life and progress. A typical fat person’s excuse is always oh it’s my genetics.

Look at my pictures and tell me I got great genetics especially from my starting point. Nah. It’s an excuse. Anybody can be lean and muscular. I prove that. That’s the point I try to make. Could care less about looking like some underwear model.

My transformation seems easy. Yet it required hyperfocus, brutal discipline, and consistent hard work. No shortcuts. No magic. Just showing up every day at the gym (usually at night) and pushing harder than the day (or night ;)) before. It wasn’t very glamorous — yet effective, and that’s exactly the point I want to make.

Anyone can be lean and muscular. Anyone can transform. But you have to want it badly enough to work for it every single day.

The No-Nonsense Beginner Routine That Builds Real Muscle

Posted on February 12, 2025 by Iron Resilience

Introduction

This routine is meant for people who have either:

Been lifting for under a year and are new to the gym.
Been lifting for over a year but still look the same or aren’t as strong as they want to be.

First, let me state this isn’t your average “get in, get out” nonsense juicemonkey men’s health or lardass 5×5 routine. This is the real deal.

Forget about:

Stupid isolation movements that stimulate your imagination more than your muscles
Relying on dumbbell fluff and machines.
Training lazy and maintaining mediocrity.

We’re going to get back to basics and use the tried-and-true exercises that actually work.

These exercises will be: bench, deadlift, squat, barbell row, chin ups (pull ups), dips, press, barbell curl, and overhead tricep extensions.

The idea here is simple: Strength first, size later. You need a strong base before you start chasing aesthetics. That’s how the pros did it, and that’s how you’ll do it.

And here we shall be focusing on linear progression: add weight to the bar every workout until that stalls then every week until that stalls and build real power. No shortcuts. No magic bullets.

Progression

Lower body lifts: Add 5-10 lbs once you hit 3×6

Upper body lifts: Add 2.5-5 lbs once you hit 3×6

Simple as that.

Workout Duration: 30-60 minutes. Get in, lift heavy, get out. No fucking around.

Some days you will be stronger than others and some days you will be able to do more reps or work than others. The body isn’t a machine that plays by the rules all the time and we can’t get caught up in failing to increase the weight.

If progress slows down then start adding weight every week. When that no longer yields results it’s time to move on to a new routine.

If you want to be the strongest guy in the room then this is what you need to do.

Workout Duration: 30-60 minutes. Get in, do the work, and get out.

You will stick to this routine until you can successfully perform the following for at least 1 rep but ideally 6-8:

Bench Press: 225 lbs

Deadlift: 405 lbs

Squat: 315 lbs

Press: 135 lbs

Curl: 110 lbs

Overhead Triceps Extension: 105 lbs

Row: 225 lbs

Weighted Dip: 95 lbs

Weighted Chin-up: 45 lbs

Which you will be able to do depending on your commitment to the routine in about 6 to 8 months.

These are rough estimates based on proportional strength across lifts. Your actual numbers might vary depending on your leverages and specific training.

Cut out the fluff, stop wasting your time, and focus on what works. Lift heavy, stay consistent, and get stronger. That’s how you build muscle that actually matters.

The Routine

Monday/Thursday – Chest/Back + Arms

Bench Press – 3 x 6

Incline Dumbbell Press: 2-3 x 8-12

Barbell Rows – 2×6-8

Weighted Chin Ups or One Arm Chin Up Practice – 3 x 6

Overhead Barbell Tricep Extensions – 3 x 6-8

Barbell Curls – 3 x 6-8

Hammer Curls – 2 x 15-20

Finisher:

Rope Pushdowns – 25-50 total reps

Shrugs – 30-50 total reps

Tuesday, Friday – Shoulders + Lower-body/Abs

Seated or Standing Barbell Press – 3 x 6

Lateral Raises – 3 x 10-15

Back Squats – 3 x 6

Deadlifts – 3 x 3-5

Leg Extensions – 3 x 15

Finisher:

Calf Raises – 50 total reps

Hanging Leg Raises – 75-100 total reps

Why It Works

1. Builds a solid foundation of strength.

2. We hit every muscle twice in a week.

3. Is progressive.

4. Focused on the main lifts.

Do the basics. Progress will come, trust me.