Introduction

I grew up in an extremely rural environment as a child and teenager. It was extremely rough at times I’ll admit. I didn’t fit in anywhere much when there were people my age around, and that got rarer and rarer the older I got. Until basically by age 18 it was just me, myself and I. I felt incredibly rejected. This feeling of rejection and isolation would extend until my mid to late 20s. And likewise, whatever it was about me I had an extremely difficult time making friends and meeting women.

Although I saw the most changes in my body in my late 20s and later again now in my mid 30s I will say absolutely on some level my mind wasn’t as healthy as my body.

Naturally, I am shy and introverted. Quite quiet as well. However, my job forces me to interact with numerous people on a daily basis. And it has given me over the years an ability of sorts to put on a performance. Such that I can wear a mask as I need to in social environments and one which is the one an individual or group of individuals want or need to see. This may sound manipulative but it’s a rather tried and true tactic of anyone who has ever been in any sort of public role as an introvert or shy person.

Without getting physically stronger and bigger than most people I doubt I’d have the confidence I have now and I doubt I’d have the respect on some level. When I was a really skinny guy working security jobs it was a daily occurrence to get fucked with. Now, it’s a rather extremely rare occurrence. You’ll always get one or two types of people who are hot headed to the extreme and just cannot calm down regardless. Other than that it’s fairly easy sailing if you’re both big and intimidating looking.

Early Struggles

Most of my life I was either obese or skinnyfat. I was skinnyfat for my early 20s for the most part due to living in extreme poverty for a lot of it. I just couldn’t get enough calories in to even be a normal size for a guy my height. There was no money to support it. And when I was obese or overweight I dealt with quite a lot of bullying.

On top of that a naturally shy or introverted person gets fucked with. People take quietness as a sort of invitation to mess with you. And you aren’t really scoring numerous dates and you won’t be very popular.

Overall my teen years to early 20s really lowered my self esteem quite a bit. And the loneliness and isolation from people, along with being chronically online and other factors going on (drug use in my 20s and abusive toxic relationships or friendships when I did manage to land one) I was totally at rock bottom.

Although I bounced back by age 28, a year or so later I’d be back worse off than I ever was before. I only gained any sort of female interest at that time perhaps due to being fit. But it was short-lived.

The Turning Point

I decided that I had to do something about my life. While in my late 20s I decided to get in the best shape physically, and this helped a lot massively, my mindset was still stuck back in the past, my self esteem was beyond dismal, and overall I was healthy physically but not mentally.

I had gotten myself into an extremely bad relationship with a woman who was honestly a malignant narcissist. She took away everything I had ever worked for in life. And ripped the soul out of me. Slowly but surely I was diagnosed with Bipolar and C-PTSD.

I wanted my sanity back, I wanted my body back and even better than before, I wanted out of the dead end jobs I was working on, I wanted out of living with my parents again, and most of all I wanted my sobriety back.

It wasn’t anything miraculous or something spectacular. No, I simply decided enough was enough and I moved. I went back to college even though I was way older than my classmates. I quit all drugs cold turkey.

And for the last two years it’s been nothing but gym sessions, making money, thinking positive and aiming high. Also landed myself a beautiful, loving and supportive girlfriend while I was at it.

Resilience Through Fitness

Fitness taught me discipline more than even the military did. I didn’t have anyone ordering me to eat well or workout. I didn’t have any motivation besides not being unhealthy anymore. The onus was all on me to succeed. And failure wasn’t an option.

Building muscle and losing fat taught me patience. I had to learn about anatomy, nutrition, macros, meal planning, and so forth. I had to track my calories meticulously. And my portions. Some nights I spent 4 hours at the gym to get up for 8am the next morning for class.

Most of all I just went to the gym regardless of if I wanted too or not. I needed too. Not wanted too.

You can’t be 50 percent healthy. If your body is healthy and your mind isn’t you aren’t fit. If your body is unhealthy and your mind is healthy then you aren’t fit either.

Self transformation is always internal but produces external results with enough patience. Patience is the virtue. Resilience is what keeps you patient in even the bleakest of time.

Without either patience nor resilience then natural bodybuilding isn’t for you.

Conclusion

I do not have any natural god given talents or elite genetics. When I want something I simply go for it and work hard for it. Day in and day out. I didn’t want to be the fat kid who got bullied anymore. I didn’t want to be the skinny guy who got messed with and was scared of everybody.

The only solution was to pick up the barbell and put down the fork.

All I can say is, if you are reading this and going through what I did then, don’t complain, workout, stay focused, be patient, have discipline and grind. You’ll get there.

Thanks for reading.